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The rain’s cold grains are silver-gray Sharp as golden sands, A bell is clanging, people sway Hanging by their hands. Supple hands, or gnarled and stiff, Snatch and catch and grope; That face is yellow-pale, as if The fellow swung from rope. Dull like pebbles, sharp like knives, Glances strike and glare, Fingers tangle, Bluebeard’s wives Dangle by the hair. Orchard of the strangest fruits Hanging from the skies; Brothers, yet insensate brutes Who fear each others’ eyes. One man stands as free men stand As if his soul might be Brave, unbroken; see his hand Nailed to an oaken tree.

Everyone was happier. But where did the sadness go? People wanted to know. They didn’t want it collecting in their elbows or knees then popping up later. The girl who thought of the ponies made a lot of money. Now a month’s supply of pills came in a hard blue case with a handle. You opened it & found the usual vial plus six tiny ponies of assorted shapes & sizes, softly breathing in the Styrofoam. Often they had to be pried out & would wobble a little when first put on the ground. In the beginning the children tried to play with them, but the sharp hooves nicked their fingers & the ponies refused to jump over pencil hurdles. The children stopped feeding them sugarwater & the ponies were left to break their legs on the gardens’ gravel paths or drown in the gutters. On the first day of the month, rats gathered on doorsteps & spat out only the bitter manes. Many a pony’s last sight was a bounding squirrel with its tail hovering over its head like a halo. Behind the movie theatre the hardier ponies gathered in packs amongst the cigarette butts, getting their hooves stuck in wads of gum. They lined the hills at funerals, huddled under folding chairs at weddings. It became a matter of pride if one of your ponies proved unusually sturdy. People would smile & say, “This would have been an awful month for me,” pointing to the glossy palomino trotting energetically around their ankles. Eventually, the ponies were no longer needed. People had learned to imagine their sadness trotting away. & when they wanted something more tangible, they could always go to the racetrack & study the larger horses’ faces. Gloom, #341, with those big black eyes, was almost sure to win.

Too much rain loosens trees. In the hills giant oaks fall upon their knees. You can touch parts you have no right to— places only birds should fly to.

Off go the crows from the roof. The crows can’t hold on. They might as well Be perched on an oil slick. Such an awkward dance, These gentlemen In their spottled-black coats. Such a tipsy dance, As if they didn’t know where they were. Such a humorous dance, As they try to set things right, As the wind reduces them. Such a sorrowful dance. How embarrassing is love When it goes wrong In front of everyone.

I cried to men, “I would be crucified!” And they said, “Why should your blood be upon our heads?” And I answered, “How else shall you be exalted except by crucifying madmen?” And they heeded and I was crucified.  And the crucifixion appeased me. And when I was hanged between earth and heaven they lifted up their heads to see me.  And they were exalted, for their heads had never before been lifted. But as they stood looking up at me one called out, “For what art thou seeking to atone?” And another cried, “In what cause dost thou sacrifice thyself?” And a third said, “Thinkest thou with this price to buy world glory?” Then said a fourth, “Behold, how he smiles!  Can such pain be forgiven?” And I answered them all, and said: “Remember only that I smiled.  I do not atone—nor sacrifice—nor wish for glory; and I have nothing to forgive.  I thirsted—and I besought you to give me my blood to drink.  For what is there can quench a madman’s thirst but his own blood?  I was dumb—and I asked wounds of you for mouths.  I was imprisoned in your days and nights—and I sought a door into larger days and nights. And now I go—as others already crucified have gone.  And think not we are weary of crucifixion.  For we must be crucified by larger and yet larger men, between greater earths and greater heavens.”

either the postagestamp-bright inflorescence of wild mustard or the drab tassel of prairie smoke, waving its dirty garments either the low breeze through the cracked window or houseflies and drawn blinds to spare us the calid sun one day commands the next to lie down, to scatter:      we're done with allegiance, devotion, the malicious idea of what's eternal picture the terrain sunk, return of the inland sea, your spectacle your metaphor, the scope of this twiggy dominion pulled under crest and crest, wave and cloud, the thunder blast and burst of swells this is the sum of us:      brief sneezeweed, brief yellow blaze put out so little, your departure, one plunk upon the earth's surface, one drop to bind the dust, a little mud, a field of mud the swale gradually submerged, gradually forgotten and that is all that is to be borne of your empirical trope: first, a congregated light, the brilliance of a meadowland in bloom and then the image must fail, as we must fail, as we graceless creatures that we are, unmake and befoul our beds don't tell me deluge.      don't tell me heat, too damned much heat

She sat down below a thorn, Fine flowers in the valley; And there she has her sweet babe born, And the green leaves they grow rarely. "Smile na sae sweet, my bonnie babe," Fine flowers in the valley,

What large, dark hands are those at the window Lifted, grasping the golden light Which weaves its way through the creeper leaves To my heart's delight? Ah, only the leaves! But in the west, In the west I see a redness come Over the evening's burning breast — — 'Tis the wound of love goes home! The woodbine creeps abroad Calling low to her lover: The sun-lit flirt who all the day Has poised above her lips in play And stolen kisses, shallow and gay Of pollen, now has gone away — She woos the moth with her sweet, low word, And when above her his broad wings hover Then her bright breast she will uncover And yield her honey-drop to her lover. Into the yellow, evening glow Saunters a man from the farm below, Leans, and looks in at the low-built shed Where hangs the swallow's marriage bed. The bird lies warm against the wall. She glances quick her startled eyes Towards him, then she turns away Her small head, making warm display Of red upon the throat. His terrors sway Her out of the nest's warm, busy ball, Whose plaintive cry is heard as she flies In one blue stoop from out the sties Into the evening's empty hall. Oh, water-hen, beside the rushes Hide your quaint, unfading blushes, Still your quick tail, and lie as dead, Till the distance folds over his ominous tread. The rabbit presses back her ears, Turns back her liquid, anguished eyes And crouches low: then with wild spring Spurts from the terror of his oncoming To be choked back, the wire ring Her frantic effort throttling: Piteous brown ball of quivering fears! Ah soon in his large, hard hands she dies, And swings all loose to the swing of his walk. Yet calm and kindly are his eyes And ready to open in brown surprise Should I not answer to his talk Or should he my tears surmise. I hear his hand on the latch, and rise from my chair Watching the door open: he flashes bare His strong teeth in a smile, and flashes his eyes In a smile like triumph upon me; then careless-wise He flings the rabbit soft on the table board And comes towards me: ah, the uplifted sword Of his hand against my bosom, and oh, the broad Blade of his hand that raises my face to applaud His coming: he raises up my face to him And caresses my mouth with his fingers, which still smell grim Of the rabbit's fur! God, I am caught in a snare! I know not what fine wire is round my throat, I only know I let him finger there My pulse of life, letting him nose like a stoat Who sniffs with joy before he drinks the blood: And down his mouth comes to my mouth, and down His dark bright eyes descend like a fiery hood Upon my mind: his mouth meets mine, and a flood Of sweet fire sweeps across me, so I drown Within him, die, and find death good.

for Lawson Fusao Inada and Alan Chong Lau I. A Porphyry of Elements Starting in a long swale between the Sierras and the Coast Range, Starting from ancient tidepools of a Pleistocene sea, Starting from exposed granite bedrock, From sandstone and shale, glaciated, river-worn, and scuffed by wind, Tired of the extremes of temperature, the weather’s wantonness, Starting from the survey of a condor’s eye Cutting circles in the sky over Tehachapi and Tejon, Starting from lava flow and snow on Shasta, a head of white hair, a garland of tongue-shaped obsidian, Starting from the death of the last grizzly, The final conversion of Tulare County to the internal-combustion engine, Staring from California oak and acorn, scrubgrass, rivermist, and lupine in the foothills, From days driving through the outfield clover of Modesto in a borrowed Buick, From nights drinking pitchers of dark in the Neon Moon Bar & Grill, From mornings grabbing a lunchpail, work gloves, and a pisspot hat, From Digger pine and Douglas fir and aspen around Placerville, From snowmelt streams slithering into the San Joaquin, From the deltas and levees and floods of the Sacramento, From fall runs of shad, steelhead, and salmon, From a gathering of sand, rock, gypsum, clay, limestone, water, and tar, From a need or desire to throw your money away in The Big City, From a melting of history and space in the crucible of an oil-stained hand— Starting from all these, this porphyry of elements, this aggregate of experiences Fused like feldspar and quartz to the azure stone of memory and vision, Starting from all of these and an affectionate eye for straight, unending lines, We hit this old road of Highway Ninety-Nine! II. A Samba for Inada Let’s go camping Let’s go chanting Let’s go cruising Let’s go boozing Let’s go smoke Let’s go folk Let’s go rock Let’s go bop Let’s go jazz Let’s go fast Let’s go slow Let’s go blow Let’s go Latin Let’s go cattin Let’s go jiving Let’s go hiding Let’s go disco Let’s go Frisco Let’s go blues Let’s go cruise Let’s go far Let’s go near Let’s go camping Let’s go chanting Let’s go lazy Let’s go boozing Let’s go crazy Let’s go cruising III. Cruising in the Greater Vehicle/A Jam Session “Well, goddamnit, Lawson! Whyn’t you play in key and keep to the rhythm? First you say you wanna go back to Fresno, back to the fish store and Kamaboko Gardens on the West Side, and then you say, forget it, I take it back, let’s go to the Sacto Bon-Odori instead.” “Yeah. And this ain’t even shoyu season yet, chump!” “Awww, hell. What’s wrong with you two? Can’t you improvise? You know, I’m just laying down a bass, man. Just a rhythm, a scale, something to jam on, something to change, find our range, something to get us going. Once we get started, we can work our way around to Weed, put on some tire chains, or break down in Selma, refuse to buy grapes, raisins, or Gallo, do a pit-stop at a Sacto sporting goods, pick up some air mattresses shaped like pearl-diving women, and float all day downriver to the deltas, sipping Cokes and saké in the summer heat.” “Shit. Whyn’t you just solo and forget the rest of us? You start chanting and pretty soon we’re hearing the entire Lotus Sutra.” “You two Buddhaheads just a pair of one-eyed Japs with dishpan hands and deadpan minds, man. This is the Champ Chonk talking, and we’re playing Chinese anaconda. Eight-card, no-peek pak-kai, roll your own, hi-lo, three for sweep, four for hot-sour soup stud, and neither of you’s put down your ante yet. So shit or get off the shu-mai, fellas.” “Calm down and watch the road, Alan.” “Who’s driving this heap, anyway?” “I thought you were.” “I thought Lawson was.” “Don’t worry. This is a dodo-driven, autopiloted, cruise-controlled, Triple- A-mapped, Flying-A-gassed, dual-overhead-cam, Super-Sofistifunktified, Frijole Guacamole, Gardena Guahuanco, Chonk Chalupa Cruiser with Buddha Bandit Bumpers, Jack!” “Where we going, Alan?” “Where do you think? We’re going to Paradise.” IV. On the Road to Paradise Distances don’t matter nor the roll of the road past walnut groves. It’s sky that counts, the color of it at dawn or sunset, a match more true to the peach than a mix of oils by Matisse. Or maybe it’s actually the weather we love most, the way it shifts and scatters over the state like radio waves bouncing off the face of the moon. The one over there, near Yuba City, rising over a backyard garden of onions, tomatoes, squash, and corn. The one with the spider scrambling through celery, harvesting moths and mayflies from the web it has strung between stalks. Sometimes I wish I could harvest the weather, reap it like wheat or rice, store it in a silo announcing steady rain or clear skies on its sides. When the prices rise, I could ship hailstorms or Santanas in orange crates, make Safeway go broke, do something politically efficacious for a change. But all I really do besides write these poems is allow my mind to wander while I drive. There it goes, down the arroyo, through manzanita and Mormon tea. Or there, up the mustard and Indian pipe on the hill. Might as well let it. Nothing but God and Country on the radio now. Wolfman Jack’s syndicated and the Dodgers haven’t made it to Vero Beach. I wish this road would turn or bend, intersect with a spy movie some Spanish galleon, or maybe a Chinese poem with landscapes in brocade, mist, wine, and moonlight. This California moon is yellow most of the time, like it was stained with nicotine, or sealed in amber like an insect. Why is it always better somewhere else? Why do I always wish I were Tu Fu? V. Palmistry Fantasia There, the pasteboard and neon hand! Just past the interchange by the bowling alley. The one with silver rockets, small green stars, and a trail of red comets flashing through the smog. It’s still here, the hand held up in greeting or command. “Halt!” it says, or “Peace be with you, brother,” while the map across its palm traces excursions into blue trees, green skies, and mushroom-colored lives. Blue dun is the color of its neon, the same as the throat feathers of a teal scudding over the marshes of Merced. It matches the purple mascara the gypsy woman wears, matches the pools of velvet-blue darkness in her eyes. Her name is Alma Josephina, and she designed the sign herself, imitating the figure of her own hand, the neon indicative of its natural aura. That was twenty years ago when Eisenhower was President and all her customers wore pedal pushers or Bermudas, and never noticed the fireflies in the marshes at night. * You’re Oriental, aren’t you? Can you read tea leaves? I tried to once, years ago, had a Chinese woman teaching me, but her fees were too steep. I like a joke. It loosens up the customers. Well, come here towards the light. Let me get a good look at the ghosts in the grave of your palm. They’re there, you know. All the people you’ve ever been, all the trips you’ve taken and the towns you’ve settled in, back before the birth of Christ, back before people were people, before this paw was a hand. You see?   The whole palm glows like purple mist over a cemetery. Move closer.   Clamp it around the glass. See it flare on the inside? That’s the light your bones make, not the crystal at all. Look at your hand now. You can see yourself dancing on the heel just above the wrist. You must be a happy man. You’ll be born again and again, get to the threshold of Heaven, never enter but keep coming back, here, for fun, for friends, until this will be Paradise, and Paradise just an old resort the highway’s passed by. Well, have a nice trip. You’ll make it yet. Says so right in that curvy line around the Mound of Venus, that thumbstump there, right where the long straight line cuts across like an interstate. VI. Postcards Sent Home 1. Dust rolls out of the hills like fog, and it’s too hot for shoes or shirts. I’d like to take my hair off too, peel it from my head, dip it in a bucket of ice, and wear it around my neck like a bandana. 2. Crickets attend the night, add a falsetto drone to the sound of us pissing in the tumbleweeds. 3. There’s a Tastee-Freeze in Fresno, A & Dub’s closed down, Jack-in-the-Box keeps popping up, and McDonald’s owns the town. 4. Somebody’s drying tobacco leaves on the laundry line. There, see them furl and flap next to the nylons? 5. A giant oak uncurls over the road, sprinkles a fine yellow powder on the windshield. The sun hits, touches it off in a spasm of golden-red light. VII. Body & Fender/Body & Soul At the grill, the Indian girl with buckteeth and dimples serves us a round of coffee and sweet rolls. We’re waiting for the guy at Henley’s Texaco, down the street, to find us a fan belt that’ll fit.   It’s early, the sky’s still in the john, shaving, and the sports page has to wait to get in. Everybody’s grumpy. We sit around, jab at raisins with our forks, and try to look as tough as the waitresss. Her name’s Rita. Her brothers jump fires and pump oil in Alaska. Her sisters string beads and make babies back on the Res. Her ex is white, a logger who threatened never to come back and didn’t. She doesn’t hold any grudges. That’s why she’s so nice, why she pops her gum filling the salt and pepper shakers, why she adjusts her girdle so we can see, why the egg spot on her dress doesn’t show. Outside, the sun eases up over the parking lot, scrambles across the freeway, and runs for cover behind a pile of pumpkin-colored clouds. 99 starts shuffling its deck of cars and pickups, getting set to deal a hand of nine-to-five stud. We don’t watch. This is Redding, and ain’t nothing thing going on besides the day shift. Alan says, “Look, there’s Venus,” and points to a piece of light draining the sky. I want to order a country- fried steak, talk about the Dodgers, but there isn’t time. Lawson hums a few chords, stirring the changes with his coffee spoon. Rita cruises back like a bus bound for Reno, starts dealing some ashtrays. She says, “How’s it going boys?” I answer for all of us—“Hey, Rita. It’s almost gone.” VIII. Pilgrimage to the Shrine Six hours since the Paradise Cutoff and running on empty. No gas stations or rest stops, no weigh station, no cops. Just miles of straight road and a long double-yellow unrolling in front of us. Alan recognized nothing. Lawson pops the glove, pulls out a penlight, and fingers the map, pronouncing a few mantras. Our headlights slide over a scarecrow made of tumbleweeds standing by the road. He’s wearing a kimono, a dark-blue stovepipe hat, his shoulders cloaked in a wreath of chrysanthemums. We pull over, back up, and he disappears into the pale- grey darkness. It’s smoke. We can smell it, so somebody’s got to be close by. But our eyes go blined, fill with tears and ashes as we stumble down the off-ramp. The smell of frying trout and steamed rice reaches us when we come to. An old hermit, dressed like the scarecrow, crawls out of his barracks and brings us tea. “Drink!” he says, “It’ll pick you up!” And so we drink, feeling drugged. Soft blues in the key of sleep suffocates the air. From up the mountain, the sound of obsidian, flaking in the wind. Clouds of black glass waltz around us. We dress ourselves in shrouds of tule reeds stitched with barbed wire, stained with salt and mud. We refuse to cry. We drift back to the highway, holding our fists like rattles, shaking them like bones. IX. Confessions of the Highway/The Hermit Speaks I know the rituals, the spells of grapes, the ceremonies of tomatoes, celery, and rice. I know the color of wind dressed for fiesta, and the names of carnivals in Spanish and Japanese. I am familiar with the determination of campesinos who migrate up and down the stretch of the state in search of crops ready for harvest. It’s all a dull ache in my back, small cuts on the throats of my fingers, and the alkali of a dry lake in my lungs. For me, the oracle of the giant orange always predicts good fortune, yet, it never comes true. My stomach is full of sand and tar, a little bit of paint, a few crickets. I stand in swampwater up to my hips, and the stink of rotting figs escapes my armpits in small brown clouds. Scrub oak and tumbleweed sprout from my scalp, make a small grove behind my left ear. I don’t know why sparrows and starlings refuse to approach me, to take the grass seed tucked in the cuffs of my trousers. Maybe it’s the stain of asphalt around my ankles, this copper sheen of sweat on my back. Sometimes, when the valley heat makes the bones in my feet start to hiss and burn, the desire to escape comes over me again. I can’t help it. My arms pull down a few telephone posts, my shoulders churn against the bindings. I feel myself wanting to sit up, begin to walk again, and thresh my way across rice fields and acres of alfalfa. For once I’d like to lift my face straight above Shasta into the sky, shout in unison with thunder, roar with the assurance of Santana wind, leap out of these bonds of copper and steel, slough off this skin of cement, and walk south or north or even west into the weather and the sea.

A crush of oily plant and treated white, wrapt and reached by root, sky-touched and still, a bud in leaf: make of me a body. Oil me, hand and foot, bind me tight and scented green: this is my dressing, done. Ay lived and spoke to what ay was. No matter if you answer. On hand and foot an oil and scent. Across my forehead fingers sweep a clay. Remember what ay was and am. Kind horse, lie down beside.