Frank Stanford

There was always a lizard Or a frog around the pump, Waiting for a little extra water Or a butterfly to light. Jimmy said the pump gave him the worms. I got the worms under the slick boards. The pump would bite you in the winter. It got hold of Jimmy and wouldn’t let go. The blades of Johnson grass were tall And sharp around the pump stand. I had to hoe them all the time Nobody filled the prime jar, though. One time, I cut the tongue Out of a Buster Brown shoe And gave it to the pump. It made a good sucker washer. Sometimes the pump seemed like Jesus. I liked bathing buck naked Under the pump, Not in a goddamn washtub.

When the rain hits the snake in the head, he closes his eyes and wishes he were asleep in a tire on the side of the road, so young boys could roll him over, forever.

Raymond Roussel Two girls runaway from the Home.  They have a revolver in their possession.  The Sisters Of Our Lady have given up looking for them, returning in the night with soft candles. The sleek clouds have thrown their riders, and the bees are returning to the honey, the clover at the edge of the cliff black as eyelids, damp as blue mussels flexing at the moon. The girls look in the stolen mirror, then throw their shoes in the sea.  They take off one another’s dress, posing on the rocks that jut out over the faded water of the last days. The clover beat down from their splendid feet, the clover quiet like a vault.  Nearby in a ship named for early death, I drink wine like a city.  Anchored far off the continent of love. Strange, but bees do not die in their own honey, and how the dead are toted off, how the sweet moons are deposited in the catacombs. The clover at the edge of the sea like a chemise, place where animals have lain.  They help one another with their hair, their dresses blowing back to land.  They look over the cliff, spit on the beach.  Birds I have never seen going by.

Soon I will make my appearance But first I must take off my rings And swords and lay them out all Along the lupine banks of the forbidden river In reckoning the days I have Left on this earth I will use No fingers

We go on and we tremble. God says we can screw now. God says to give up all your lovers, Time to die. When I was younger I drove a Lincoln. God said to trade it in. A tad lovely, then, and terrible, And sick of my own kind, I wanted to become a woman. I wanted to wash the feet of other women In public, I wanted his eyes On me, olives on the ground. I gave you my hand, Now I go around with my sleeve Tucked in my coat. I climb no trees, touch One breast at a time, Hold no hands myself. I go on and I tremble With your back in my blood, The clap my mother left me. With me no more, and now, And forever, and even always The dust of my feet In the desert I give you stranger my sign, My peace, But God you remember You fucked me out of my hand.

Man is so afraid, he look down at cock, long ago many centuries ships land on the enemy’s beach, take down mast in the dark, climb up cliffs in the fog, ram enemy’s door, do bad things in castle, oh yea, man go crazy play in blood like baby with duck in bathtub, man think about favorite dog, got worms in heart, takes dog to field trial, dog sniffs out man’s lies, point at fool in frozen water, fool man, dead dog, man look at leaf frozen in pond, man think about woman in new cabin beside fire, walls bleeding rosin, man forget about dog, man want son, boy strong, call boy elephant, man cannot sleep right, have bad itch in butthole, man think cancer maybe, man wake up beside woman, moon come in window, man glad he has no city, city can die for all he cares, man smells fingers, smell bad, man gets up to wash fingers, man steps on broken glass, sits down on commode and sucks his foot, man thinks about God, man says to God If I eat right will You take away cancer, God no say, man flush pot, man decides go to India, study other God, other God take away cancer, bring back dog, make women go crazy, man go visit little naked man on mountain, man give him all his money, little naked man say go back home, stand on head with fresh egg in asshole three times a day, man does what he says, oh yea, man think about troopships, man is so afraid, man take chill, man get old real quick man nobody, everything dark, man spit in papersack, man look at medicine on table beside bed, man look at TV, Tarzan movie already over, so sad so sad, man call doctor, say to make him young, doctor look at secretary pulling up panties, say oh yea, take man’s money, man get young, man decide go to Africa, man think everything swell when he get back home, put many heads on wall, many skins, first night wife run off, fool man, so man read book, man like, so man read another book, soon man read book all time, don’t care about money, don’t care about woman, only thing man remember is what he read, on weekends go to old cabin, look at pine knots, think about what he read, think about history, look down at cock, man learn, once was another man become king, but king had no sons, king get old, get sad, king get so afraid, look at his cock, oh yea, one night king run everybody out of castle, have private dinner, just with family, and favorite dog, tell daughter to hop up on table, king takes pheasant gravy, pours on daughter, rubs daughter’s thighs with gravy, picks up dog, tells dog lick daughter, king tells daughter not to be afraid, not be sad, tell daughter be strong, daughter strong, daughter looks at mother, says watch, daughter takes dog by the mouth, breaks jaws, king says daughter strong, man know lot about history, man afraid, man go crazy on street one day, man go jail, man call lawyer tell lawyer shoot two women save my life, man give lawyer lot of money, lawyer go out to eat, talks about man, man get out of jail, oh yea man like imagine too, man like to clip cut back of magazine, man like sendoff, man also like guns, life strange,

I had my quiet time early in the morning Eating Almond Joys with Mother. We’d sit on the back porch and talk to God. We really had a good time. Later on, I’d sort baseball cards Or look for bottles. In the afternoon I’d shoot blackbirds. Jimmy would go by the house for ice water And make the truck backfire. Oh, I really liked that. That was the reason he did it. In the evening the cottontails ran across the groves. I shot one and put him in the backseat. He went to the bathroom. Jimmy said I knocked the shit out of him. At night we would listen to the ballgame. Then to the Hoss Man. Jimmy liked “Take Out Some Insurance On Me Baby” by Jimmy Reed.

There are many people who come back After the doctor has smoothed the sheet Around their body And left the room to make his call. They die but they live. They are called the dead who lived through their deaths, And among my people They are considered wise and honest. They float out of their bodies And light on the ceiling like a moth, Watching the efforts of everyone around them. The voices and the images of the living Fade away. A roar sucks them under The wheels of a darkness without pain. Off in the distance There is someone Like a signalman swinging a lantern. The light grows, a white flower. It becomes very intense, like music. They see the faces of those they loved, The truly dead who speak kindly. They see their father sitting in a field. The harvest is over and his cane chair is mended. There is a towel around his neck, The odor of bay rum. Then they see their mother Standing behind him with a pair of shears. The wind is blowing. She is cutting his hair. The dead have told these stories To the living.

The white clothes on the line put the man to sleep. He was sitting on a soda case Leaning back on the porch. He rolled down his sleeves with his eyes shut. He could feel the sun going into the trees. He wanted to catch the evening ferry And meet someone across the river. He dreamed about her Putting polish on her nails. He was in the woods and many women Were walking around him in a circle. He thought about crosses in their blood. As it got to be night he could feel the heat in his face. He was going to open his eyes. And look up at the moon. It was like the light blue handkerchief She gave him to go with his dark suit. That’s when he felt the hot salt all over him Like broken glass. He was afraid to open his eyes. He wondered if he could use any words on it. But the big woman in the black dress Was already in the backseat of the car Rolling the window up with one hand And making a sign on him with the other. She was in the car, too. He saw her biting her nails when they pulled away. There was a dead snake on his shoes. He knew there would be a circle Of little beating hearts in his bed, And before he could get home They would be dry and still.

I am afraid after reading all these so-called initiation books that some cortege of boot lickers will enter my room while I am sleeping and suck my eyes out with soda straws they will be older men and women much like the amanuenses with bad breath in the principal’s office who call up and tell on you the Unferths of the world better beware I know Jesus would have kicked your teeth in you couldn’t pull that shit on him he was telling his buddies one night boys I’m glad y’all decided to come on up and eat supper with me I hadn’t got much there’s a few things I’d like to say at this time Matthew says to Simon I sure as hell don’t know what he’s got us here this time for I’m beginning to wonder you talked to him lately yea I was shooting the shit with him on the mountain but I want to tell you this Matthew don’t never come up on him when he’s alone he jumped on me I thought he was going to kill me he was just walking around just talking to himself waving his arms like he does he’s worse than John Jude put his hand up to his mouth and said down the table I think Jesus is going off his rocker get Simon to tell you what he asked me Simon says he didn’t want to talk about politics or dreams or nothing he just said Jude next time y’all are over in Mesopotamia why don’t you pick me up a few bottles of that wine they make over there sure thing Jesus I says well now the boss is talking he is saying I asked y’all up here because frankly I’ve been feeling a little sick lately and I want to make sure y’all know what to do in case anything happens I know one of you is going to do me in I know that but goddamnit y’all know those people in town are after my ass the other night I walked down the streets in a disguise and I seen a couple of you messing around and drinking with the soldiers what’s going to happen if one of you gets drunk and lets it slip where I’m hiding out then I’ll be in a fix you know if they was to find me they going to cut me y’all ever think about that and Peter ain’t you ever going to get it straight what you’re supposed to do give me one of those biscuits Judas and go outside and take a look-see I got you Jesus Judas says John leans over he says been catching any fish Peter oh well I been getting a few of a morning they ain’t biting too good now you know on account of this blamed weather nobody is even listening to Jesus he’s just talking to himself like he was crazy Matthew says I believe he’s been hitting that wine a little too hard don’t you reckon Jesus says another thing I told all of you it’d be better if you didn’t get involved with women now just listen to that little two-faced bastard James the Lesser says we all know what he’s up to shacking up with all those town girls the other night he was dressed fit to kill and drunk as six hundred dollars a rolling around in the mud like a hog kissing that whore’s foot why shit I wish he’d let us in on what he really does Thomas spoke up for once he says I know what you mean the other day Andrew and I asked him about some scripture he said leave me alone I don’t know nothing about that shit and then we seen him cussing out a priest over at the temple he knew more about it than the elder did another thing Matthew says I wish he’d start writing what he wants done down and do it so I can read it you know as well as I do that damned Peter can’t keep it straight he won’t get anything right Bartholomew says don’t make no difference atoll cause Paul is going to tell it like he wants to that’s for damned sure all the time Jesus just mumbling to himself wine spilt all over his robe the rest of them chattering and cussing trying to figure him out John the Baptist about the only one Jesus can count on except for crazy John is banging his goblet on the table he is saying now ain’t this a sight spitting in the lord’s face at his own birthday party I’ll swan Brother John why don’t you tell Jesus what the real problem is the crazy one says everyone of y’all is chickenshits you are afraid to look those elders in the eye and tell them what you think ya’ll get up on a rock to talk and you see a soldier coming and you say anybody seen a stray mule Jesus is saying to himself I’m going to pull those temples down if I have to get me a rope and tie it to a pillar and a jackass and do it myself wake up Jesus Philip says Paul who hadn’t touched a drop gets up and gets his paper out and says the nature of the problem Jesus is this the people don’t believe you those fellows in the temples have got it all organized all they have to do is send out stooges and hire a couple of rednecks who make out like they’re crippled they have a big gathering they say the same things you say they pull off a fake healing the redneck’s wife stands up she says LIE he ain’t lame he’s just drunk and so all the people go home saying those christians what a bunch of wind see Jesus they are using your material but they ain’t coming through so that is making you an enemy of the people we just got to get organized as is proved here today by your followers carrying on as they did so I’m getting sold down the river by the elders and their hirelings uh that’s right Jesus ask anybody here why I didn’t think they’d do that he says I told you a long time ago not to keep talking with them temple people John says you should a know’d what they was up to ain’t nobody going to understand you why you ought to know that when we first run on to you we had second thoughts we thought you was crazy there’s probably still some sitting down here right this second that still thinks you are a crazy one but Jesus you should a known we been through a lot together we go a long way back you should a listened all they wanted was you they liable to get you yet then they won’t have no competition they want to keep feeding the hogs the same slop they the ones that want to get fat man you listening to me Jesus he says ok if that’s the way they want to do things at the temple I’m going to change my tactics I going out after these chillun more than I have been they’ll know I’m telling the truth I still got a few things up my sleeve left what’s that Paul says I’m going to do a few things can’t nobody follow we could always go back to biting the heads off fish and chickens Peter says why don’t you let us in on it for a change Paul says we follow you around like we were a bunch of sheep picking up your tab bailing you out of jail coming up here all the time for supper and what do we get to eat nothing why can’t you have a little faith in us Jesus ok this is what we going to do he says hold on who is that walking up the steps it’s just Judas how does it go boy Jesus says and the other one answers just fine Jesus just fine and John the Baptist turns around he says to the one who has just slipped in boy didn’t I see you talking to some white folks the other day here endeth with a chord on the guitar that’s how the men did Jesus like he was old like he was young just like Elvis did to Big Dad Arthur I know just like another blind singer the men come down to see with their equipment they get his song they pay him twenty dollars and he don’t hear from them ever again except sometimes in the mail on Christmas when one of them might send a five dollar check there won’t nobody cash oh tell me brother how do the old men feel who were young as purple flowers from Hawaii once when they listen to their songs coming in over a borrowed radio tell me don’t they take up a notch in they belt don't they tie another knot in they headband don't they wring that sweat out have mercy Jesus deliver me from the lawyers and the teachers and the preachers and the politicking flies can’t you hear them buzz can’t you hear them bite another chunk out of me oh brother I am death and you are sleep I am white and you are black brother tell me I am that which I am I am sleep and you are death we are one person getting up and going outside naked as a blue jay rolling our bellies at the moon oh brother tell me you love me and I’ll tell you too I want to know how do they like it when the ones who sung shake they leg on the Television I want to know Jesus don’t a blind man count no more some by signs others by whispers some with a kiss and some with a gun and some with a six bit fountain pen whoa lord help me and my brother help us get through this tookover land