CAConrad

photo of United States from outer space in trash green fire held to everything as everyone whirls into abs- tr- action a moment with the crystal and the weight of the house is released we hold fast we hold one another we hold to the vigor of the street pain of picked flower our frame reckless but never monochrome everything the speed and tension of eloping saunter past barricades waking not sleeping to dream

hearing all bells at once instructs the final exhale Camelot in thimble of  the gods Marilyn Monroe’s ambulance lost on the way to the palace of  temperament a branch of government for the magical arts punch wall of forest for an oaken desk another dream we needed agitating the sentence as it rows across a newly destroyed heart folding following tormenting one another we were all once young and beautiful squandering everything it’s what we came here to do cut off engines to the child registering disposition of the cat in the dark as the size of the darkness

to worship tininess of a martyr observe shrinking church in rearview mirror the black deer it turns out was beige a tan doe covered in flies flesh of shame is nearly the shame of flesh pressing an unstable clock to cactus with one, two, three counts of recalibration fuck you who ask for forgiveness instead of permission                          all clocks are precarious inscrutable windows

to be gone a constant desire embarrassed for the giant leaning in for love we had enough of the dance number but                   the whirling begins it just starts silos full of air no more corn no more wheat watching myself for full details in a strange man’s pants we let the soldier board the plane shot in head three days later why are you angry you said why are you not I said

years of  practice for a soft landing in the slaughter we looked far off to a flag sewn into flesh dear enemy come down the hill I have taken a title out of  the love for you jumping down the clear shaft of  your eye you would not know how long I paused when writing this unless I said so in the poem half an hour staring at the pencil having written of  my enemy with love and fight to maintain the ascension voices from a room no one exits we pry genocide out of  the museum but meant to remove the museum from genocide

first and most important dream our missing friends forward burn their reflections into empty chairs we are less bound by time than the clockmaker fears this morning all I want is to follow where the stone angels point birdsong lashing me to tears heterosexuals need to see our suffering the violent deaths of our friends and lovers to know glitter on a queer is not to dazzle but to unsettle the foundation of this murderous culture defiant weeds smashing up through cement you think Oscar Wilde was funny well Darling I think he was busy distracting straight people so they would not kill him if you knew how many times I have been told you’re not like my gay best friend who tells me jokes and makes me laugh no I sure as fuck am not I have no room in my life to audition for your pansy mascot you people can’t kill me and think you can kill me again I met a tree in Amsterdam and stood barefoot beside it for twenty minutes then left completely restored yet another poem not written by a poet sometimes we need one muscle to relax so the others follow my friend Mandy calls after a long shift at the strip club to say while standing in line for death I am fanning my hot pussy with your new book will you sign it next week my fearless faggot sister

this is exactly the kind of space I want to follow you into holding your little mute worm on a twig make it marble make it touch like tough winter in the next life we will have longer love better places with extended embraces now we leave the song to return to the front leaf closing on closeness of mothers in the next world overseeing premium waste of the planet reincarnate anywhere but here land on a different rim

paint over the dead end sign are police writers? yes they are writing into books our little cherub of misunderstanding a thinking to push us back into body of the whole love yourself more next time their reports read stones sink as they please everything expands at the very end a lit cigarette into our dark hello

make you aching upwards of a teenage broken phone come to hear underwater libraries up the side of the dinner plate a little too fast not ungrateful like some of  these bastards around here can’t tap out a tune with you looking away genies of not enough sleep a happier location for the war not the easiest thing you realize beautiful architecture refreshing beverages our signs read hello love us for

to enter the sky with our bodies the principal concern for inventing airplanes no one taught me this any more than they taught me to say good morning to my hippocampus but I do because I love my hippocampus I was in a band one summer we never could harmonize we smiled and kept playing we loved our united disunity a wild stubborn focus chewing its way out how awkward the archer after shooting his arrow remembering first time getting into bed just for sex they say I’m old now ask my advice all I have to offer is make as many mistakes as you can handle but make them as soon as possible oh and don’t waste time following each other from opposite sides of the river when storm blows wig off my head it simply means it is time to let the storm take its share