Edward Dorn

A B H O R E N C E S November 10, 1984 Death by over-seasoning: Herbicide Death by annoyance: Pesticide Death by suffocation: Carbon monoxide Death by burning: Firecide Death by falling: Cliffcide Death by hiking: Trailcide Death by camping: Campcide Death by drowning:       Rivercide Lakecide Oceancide Death from puking: Curbcide Death from boredom: Hearthcide Death at the hands of the medical profession: Dockcide Death from an overnight stay: Inncide Death by suprise: Backcide Death by blow to the head: Upcide Death from delirious voting: Rightcide Death from hounding: Leftcide Death through war: Theircide & Ourcide Death by penalty: Offcide Death following a decision: Decide

A B H O R E N C E S November 13, 1984 The show did not start off auspiciously, the contestants were nervous and kept fiddling with the wires attached to their privates, the men being especially anxious over the question of balls. The women were more querulous. The first question, a medical subject, was why had the anti-abortionists not mentioned, let alone commented on, the Baboon Heart transplant? One terrified contestant guessed it was because the moral majority’s nervous concern with evolution precluded their bringing it up. That hopeful contestant’s face reflected the malicious light in the eyes of the host who immediately threw the switch A powerful surge shot through the wires and both sexes screamed and writhed, to the delight of the vast viewership, estimated at 100 million, all of whom, presumably, were delighted not to be on the show, because not one in a million knew the answer.

A B H O R R E N C E S 4 July, 1986 America is inconceivable without drugs and always has been. One of the first acts was to dump the tea. The drug that furnished the mansions of Virginia was tobacco, a drug now in much disrepute. Sassafras, a cure-all, is what they came for and they dealt it by the bale altho it was only a diaphoretic to make you perspire— people were so simple in those days. The Civil War saw the isolation of morphine making amputation a pleasure and making the block of wood between the teeth, which was no drug, obsolete. Morphinism was soon widespread among doctors and patients. At this date interns, the reports tell us, are among the premier drug ab/users of said moralistic nation. “Rock” stars (who notoriously “have” doctors) consume drugs by the metric ton even as they urge teenagers to Say No. The undercurrent of American history has been the running aches and pains of the worn path to the door of the apothecary to fetch cannabis and cocaine elixirs by the gallon. It has been all prone all seeking Florida, Ponce de León was just the beginning of a statistical curve whose only satisfaction would be total vertigo. His eager search for youth has become our frantic tilt with death and boredom, in fact we are farming death in Florida with far greater profit than we are farming food in Iowa—elixirs are as multiform as the life-style frauds we implore, a cultural patchwork fit for a fool in the only country in the world with a shop called the Drug Store.

And we are all there together time will wave as willows do and adios will be truly, yes, laughing at what is forgotten and talking of what's new admiring the roses you brought. How sad. You didn't know you were at the end thought it was your bright pear the earth, yes another affair to have been kept and gazed back on when you had slept to have been stored as a squirrel will a nut, and half forgotten, there were so many, many from the newly fallen.