Kenneth Carroll

it was right about the time they started drafting for the iraqi war snookie came to sign up but he didn’t walk through the door, instead he leaped like a madman right through the plate glass & kicked the recruiting sergeant square in his no-good ass he said, “i wanna go to the desert, kill some arab chump & drink his hot blood like water from a barnyard pump i wanna get bit on my nose by a scorpion wit a bad attitude i wanna smoke twelve packs a day & eat snake heart for food i wanna drink poison gas with a side order of sand & dance with a nuclear missile while digging the junkyard band i wanna jump in an oil well & get real slick then have me a party with some them mooslim chicks cause i’m snookie johnson from a bad neighborhood & when i get ciced up i don’t mean nobody good so sign me up sergeant & sign me up fast i’m just raring to kick me some motherfuckin ass” the sergeant looked at snookie with nothing but disgust knowing he was the kind of nigga can’t nobody trust “you too damn crazy for the military,” the sarge said wit a frown snookie gave him a sheet of paper & said, “yo man, write dat down.”