Affekt Funereal / Affekt Jamboree

5-2001 (as on TV) Welcome to this special edition double cortege for Galbraith, Kenneth— Friedman, Milton— ssstately cortege... efffusively-shiny like your kids teeth— ...such éclaircissement on this beautiful morning lustrum (kids, that’s Latin, we mean to say “wow”) ...directly behind the caskets—is that —it’s the Macy’s Rat (in mid-air)...neat, real neat... in front the lead-coated horses don’t seem to mind the officers’ droppings... is that a gigantic molar, with worms popping out? —such a variety of colors! ...look, some Teamsters are in a tussle with some scab teletubby over on 23rd St. and Madison ...ok, now, now they’re under arrest... if you look carefully you’ll see there’s two pre-funeral exercises for Fukuyama, Francis— Soros, George— on 24th —not, not as stately... a delegation of mainstream poets! and behind them, this year’s NPR security-clearance float!...ooh... ya, they’re rather new at this but...wait— there’s a lone guerrilla girl running through the crowd now she’s she’s managed to get the Cultural Studies delegation to strip and dress up as squeegee-bearing babushkas it looks like ...it’s 20 degrees so, that’s rather—ok, she’s, she’s under arrest now... ...those are neat, those little plastic thingies, aren’t they?... The Bill Gates (My Charter) High School Marching Band! The Steve Case (My Charter) High School Marching Band! behind them the post ’89, post-historical acrobat academics on mini-lawnmowers... that’s smart... The Yucky’s! The Yucky’s, yeah, they’re an interesting group... they do things like suppress that Sidney Poitier is the best American actor ever ...oh look, the Fahd ibn Abdel Aziz al-Saúd float ...the F14’s behind him are real ...now,that’s smart! ...I think he just waved at me ...who’s that man with the Monocle grabbing his— that’s Mister Modernist! he’s been a regular at these events for over 90 years now ...Saga of The Blank Page float a real favorite... ooh, he just dropped his—wait a babushka—her, her boot’s— crkkkk... oh, that’s, that’s not good...but —did you know that these are the first 100% soy caskets ever made? some people have actually run up to nibble at them... kids, if you’re watching this... make sure you never think of any other social arrangement other than one that Militarily Has To Dominate Three Quarter of The World