Constancy

Constancy is an evolution of one’s living quarters into a thought: a continuation of a parallelogram or a rectangle by means—as Clausewitz would have put it— of the voice and, ultimately, the gray matter. Ah, shrunken to the size of a brain-cell parlor with a lampshade, an armoire in the “Slavic Glory” fashion, four studded chairs, a sofa, a bed, a bedside table with little medicine bottles left there standing like a kremlin or, better yet, manhattan. To die, to abandon a family, to go away for good, to change hemispheres, to let new ovals be painted into the square—the more volubly will the gray cell insist on its actual measurements, demanding daily sacrifice from the new locale, from the furniture, from the silhouette in a yellow dress; in the end—from your very self. A spider revels in shading especially the fifth corner. Evolution is not a species’ adjustment to a new environment but one’s memories’ triumph over reality, the ichthyosaurus pining for the amoeba, the slack vertebrae of a train thundering in the darkness, past the mussel shells, tightly shut for the night, with their spineless, soggy, pearl-shrouding contents.