Counterman

What’ll it be? Roast beef on rye, with tomato and mayo. Whaddaya want on it? A swipe of mayo. Pepper but no salt. You got it. Roast beef on rye. You want lettuce on that? No. Just tomato and mayo. Tomato and mayo. You got it. …Salt and pepper? No salt, just a little pepper. You got it. No salt. You want tomato. Yes. Tomato. No lettuce. No lettuce. You got it. …No salt, right? Right. No salt. You got it. Pickle? No, no pickle. Just tomato and mayo. And pepper. Pepper. Yes, a little pepper. Right. A little pepper. No pickle. Right. No pickle. You got it. Next! Roast beef on whole wheat, please, With lettuce, mayonnaise and a center slice Of beefsteak tomato. The lettuce splayed, if you will, In a Beaux Arts derivative of classical acanthus, And the roast beef, thinly sliced, folded In a multi-foil arrangement That eschews Bragdonian pretensions Or any idea of divine geometric projection For that matter, but simply provides A setting for the tomato To form a medallion with a dab Of mayonnaise as a fleuron. And—as eclectic as this may sound— If the mayonnaise can also be applied Along the crust in a Vitruvian scroll And as a festoon below the medallion, That would be swell. You mean like in the Cathedral St. Pierre in Geneva? Yes, but the swag more like the one below the rosette At the Royal Palace in Amsterdam. You got it. Next!