Five Indiscretions,

or The Unfortunate Story of the Unmarried Flora Carrillo And the Man Who Loved Her Before He Died his Famous Death, From Whose Single Liaison a Daughter Was Born And the Advice, Rather the Explanation, Both of Them Left for Her, And the Story Also Of What She Became, and That She Was Happy 1. Three did not count. A fourth was forgiven by the Father Torres In exchange for reasonable payment, Two full days of the Hail Mary. Bigger than priests, the fifth Indiscretion was born on a Thursday, early Evening in a November not too cold. No rain had fallen And the birds had not yet gone. She chose a black dress, this Flora, Florita + here evoke the names of saints + Underneath which she carried tonight An old blade, but of fine Toledo forging Long as the member of this man In love with this woman standing at his door. Her head was filled with the vines of the jungle The noises of a lion, the feel of ten birds Trying with their beaks to get out. All anger: that she had hoped he would Come to her bedroom. And that he had. Faster than !that she took from him his rolled tongue Hanging there between his thin legs, his two-fingers, This girl’s wrist and fist of his Its central tendon and skin that moved on itself, This small and second body of his Which had found its way to her second mouth, This part of himself which he had given her Then taken back on this same day, earlier His ugly afternoon of loving her too much. He would scream as she had When she had taken him in first as a leg-bone And held him there too long, too much Until he had become a pinky-finger + here evoke the holy names + Which she !took now and put in the dowry She would make for her new daughter. With it she would write a note, Nothing else was left to do: Daughter, you will be an only child. The story of your birth will smell on you. Do this: take baths filled with rosemary With leaves, with pinched orange peels. Keep secret the fact of yourself. Be happy enough, happy with this much life. Ask for nothing. Do not live for a long time.