“It’s going to hurt”

It’s going to hurt You know this So you drink tea in the morning instead of an entire carafe of coffee Like a vampire, your skin cells burn on their first sip of the sun The ringing taste of green tea or whatever the fuck kind of tea this is Describe to me in detail this so-called purification ritual I can’t I’ve never done it before My cells are exploding into a wasting lament This is the last time you will ever write yourself through this On the other side of this swamp of dark water, a plane will crash The lone survivor will speak on the radio as you drive down Highway 27 In the middle of Florida in the middle of the night after you step off the plane you see the swamps morph into the mountains of your childhood They raise their heads like giants The Sierras stare; do not go there “Brave soul,” says the radio “Beauty,” says the radio “It had to be like this,” says the radio “Difficult,” says the radio “Now you’re 44 years old?” says the radio “That’s right. 44 years old,” says the radio Continue to drive through hornets and testicular small towns Some flags raised Some flags down The god of the underworld has let you go from his hand into the empire Floridian He says you have a pure heart so pure he cannot destroy it Some people look pure but they are not He says he cannot see you destroy yourself so he has let you go and he will protect you with his anger and melancholy It will hurt You know this All the substances have got to go Substances don’t flow from your body They leave with the violence of an exorcism Spicer says once a ghost leaves your body it never returns “Horrendous,” your sister texts “I’ve been vomiting all night,” she texts “Maybe it will be a Christmas baby,” you say Something with no substance surrounds you