ICU

For A.J. Verdelle Those mornings I traveled north on I 91, passing below the basalt cliff of East Rock where the elms discussed their genealogies. I was a chaplain at Hartford Hospital, took the Myers-Briggs with Sister Margaret, learned I was an I drawn to E s. In small group I said, “I do not like it— the way so many young black men die here unrecognized, their gurneys stripped, their belongings catalogued and unclaimed.” On the neonatal ICU, newborns breathed, blue, spider-delicate in a nest of tubes. A Sunday of themselves, their tissue purpled, their eyelids the film on old water in a well, their faces resigned in their see-through attics, their skin mottled mildewed wallpaper. It is correct to love even at the wrong time. On rounds, the newborns eyed me, each one like Orpheus in his dark hallway, saying: I knew I would find you, I knew I would lose you.