Last Words to Miriam

Version 1 (1921) Yours is the shame and sorrow, But the disgrace is mine; Your love was dark and thorough, Mine was the love of the sun for a flower He creates with his shine. I was diligent to explore you, Blossom you stalk by stalk, Till my fire of creation bore you Shrivelling down in the final dour Anguish — then I suffered a balk. I knew your pain, and it broke My fine, craftsman's nerve; Your body quailed at my stroke, And my courage failed to give you the last Fine torture you did deserve. You are shapely, you are adorned, But opaque and dull in the flesh, Who, had I but pierced with the thorned Fire-threshing anguish, were fused and cast In a lovely illumined mesh. Like a painted window: the best Suffering burnt through your flesh, Undrossed it and left it blest With a quivering sweet wisdom of grace: but now Who shall take you afresh? Now who will burn you free From your body's terrors and dross, Since the fire has failed in me? What man will stoop in your flesh to plough The shrieking cross? A mute, nearly beautiful thing Is your face, that fills me with shame As I see it hardening, Warping the perfect image of God, And darkening my eternal fame. Version 2 (1928) Yours is the sullen sorrow, The disgrace is also mine; Your love was intense and thorough, Mine was the love of a growing flower For the sunshine. You had the power to explore me, Blossom me stalk by stalk; You woke my spirit, you bore me To consciousness, you gave me the dour Awareness — then I suffered a balk. Body to body I could not Love you, although I would. We kissed, we kissed though we should not. You yielded, we threw the last cast, And it was no good. You only endured, and it broke My craftsman's nerve. No flesh responded to my stroke; So I failed to give you the last Fine torture you did deserve. You are shapely, you are adorned But opaque and null in the flesh; Who, had I but pierced with the thorned Full anguish, perhaps had been cast In a lovely illuinined mesh Like a painted window; the best Fire passed through your flesh, Undrossed it, and left it blest In clean new awareness. But now Who shall take you afresh? Now who will burn you free From your body's deadness and dross? Since the fire has failed in me, What man will stoop in your flesh to plough The shrieking cross? A mute, nearly beautiful thing Is your face, that fills me with shame As I see it hardening; I should have been cruel enough to bring You through the flame.