The Next Last One

One day we’re told to look at the sun through a hole in a cereal box     All there is to be seen is the rest of  the world disappearing     This somehow shadows aliveness but almost everyone who has ever lived is restlessly sleeping as dead For who     About what     The end is near over & over yet we insist on making dates to keep talking Always about the last eclipse the next blood flower buck worm strawberry ice wolf event Then there’s a last constellation we might ever see until there’s something else to look out for Gone are the frightening & gorgeous conspirators that I’m sure I will not see again Traces of sweat & mystery streaks some hells     communion & of course a few awkward goodbyes     The mattress is gone forever like so many of the bodies I’ve worshipped Here we are left with impressions & a recollection of  my side of  the story     I cry w/ one eye all the time but the right one staid defiant What would you read to someone you love if you knew that they were dying If  it’s over again can we share more than black sites & drownings     skin turned confetti     blue turned coal & innards swept down sewers w/ brooms We give way beyond what we know     So the gun in my mouth made me a monster for a while Coming back shoeless calloused me everywhere but the bottoms of feet     Someone dressed like a traitor convinced me there are loyalties that deserve to be broken     Someone w/ death to the klan on the door let me know I already broke free Hear them both     They’re dead & it’s tricky since the decomposed & me are close but here I am w/ you     The friend who is you Impossible almost lover you The us we chose as family you& others in the fullness of  time None of us breed but someone will give birth behind bulletproof glass where life & the divide begin     This is a fabled event packaged as betterment     It will spawn someone who pays to spray us like invasive bugs in the street     Cops were children so we can look forward to good regime/bad regime during future questioning     Thanks for the theater but we’ve seen the play     Civil discourse is broken down in the destruction manual     They can have all the orchestras     Classical music will never drown out the sins What would you write to someone you love if   you thought you might be dying Maybe once I was someone who I’d love to see punched in the face     But I am here & not yet dead so a constellation of the imaginary is no imaginary constellation     There is no sky w/o a dream of sky You who are family   fuck a grid & thanks to you I see brightness independent of state-sponsored power We talk about who threw that brick through the window     & how it’s now part of a path in a garden Broken glass is as old as glass     but the sound is more than fresh wounds     There are fresh worlds still to be heard Oh  &you my friend   I will fight anyone who says you’re not pretty     That is just ridiculous talk     Distant impractical you I believed we could be possible w/ translation software & hearts-for-eyes emojis     No dice but not before I entertained dressing in a tux as your husband     Look I never thought when you said no more haircuts until wars were over that you’d never have short hair again     My beautiful barber brushes my face     I feel funny I moan a weird prayer for peace     I guess it could happen lol     after all we deserve a new start     Soon we’ll be dead & brag about riches     We were here & looked right into the sun