Older, Younger, Both

I feel older, younger, both at once. Every time I win, I lose. Every time I count, I forget and must begin again. I must begin again, and again I must begin. Every time I lose, I win and must begin again. Everything I plan must wait, and having to wait has made me old, and the older I get, the more I wait, and everything I’m waiting for has already been planned. I feel sadder, wiser, neither together. Everything is almost true, and almost true is everywhere. I feel sadder, wiser, neither at once. I end in beginning, in ending I find that beginning is the first thing to do. I stop when I start, but my heart keeps on beating, so I must go on starting in spite of the stopping. I must stop my stopping and start to start— I can end at the beginning or begin at the end. I feel older, younger, both at once.