Once upon a Time

Once upon a time, There was a beautiful shark. She combed her long, blonde hair, And it made the halibut bark. It made the chicken oink, And the whale to run for Congress. A man should never obstruct The course of material progress. Yet a lamb cannot but weep When the kiddies come home from college. For they have forgotten to keep The agreement they made to acknowledge The woodpecker’s right to peck, And the maple’s to be pecked at. Let’s have a little respect For Rubber Duck with a doctorate. That provocative way of standing! All elbows and bangles And hips just like a coat hanger And ankles at right angles! I like The shape of the pouring soy milk, The sound of the splitting log. But Egret finds it regrettable that her Sister is dating a dog. Don’t listen to ’em, kid! And don’t listen to their questions. This corporation’s been ruined by Well-meaning false confessions. And the world is fast a-melting, Though I would have it slow. And I don’t think it’s helping: The way these animals go Straight from hatchery to quackery, And, if only to amuse, I’ll throw my hat in with Mike Thataway in Black patent leather shoes. Maybe I’m just like my mother. She’s never satisfied. Maybe I’m just like my father: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Maybe I’m just like my cat: Licking invisible balls. Perhaps you’ll reflect upon that, Next time you’re screening your calls. And all the solvent and the solute, They were walking hand in hand. This the Indian poets were the First to understand. The ancient Indian poets Had their heads screwed on straight. Fixed on the body’s affluence And the effluents that escape. And the influence they enjoyed? Close-focus hocus-pocus. And every gezunte moyd In a juvenile honey locust Will prefer their Hindi distichs To the Indiana Hoosiers. We’re gonna be there from Spit Christmas All the way to Mucus New Year’s. But for now I draw the curtain And settle into Lent. Last person to go to Harvard Without knowing what that meant.