from One Big Self: "My Dear Conflicted Reader"

My Dear Conflicted Reader, If you will grant me that most of us have an equivocal nature, and that when we waken we have not made up our minds which direc- tion we're headed; so that—you might see a man driving to work in a perfume- and dye-free shirt, and a woman with an overdone tan hold up an orange flag in one hand, a Virginia Slim in the other—as if this were their predestination. Grant me that both of them were likely contemplat- ing a different scheme of things. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO SPEND ETERNITY the church marquee demands on the way to my boy's school, SMOKING OR NON-SMOKING. I admit I had not thought of where or which direction in exactly those terms. The radio ministry says g-o-d has a wrong-answer button and we are all waiting for it to go off... Count your grey hairs Count your chigger bites Count your pills Count the times the phone rings Count your T cells Count your mosquito bites Count the days since your last menses Count the chickens you've eaten Count your cankers Count the storm candles Count your stitches Count your broken bones Count the flies you killed before noon