from Quatrains: Second Hundred

107 I have always been the way I am even when I wasn't the way I am and none can ever know the way I am because I am not merely the way I am 122 Him or someone else, what's it to me if every time I'm lonely afterward? Alone here with my moribility . . . if there only were such a lovely word . . . 124 These hemorrhoids, this bleeding from behind . . . I'm spilling out of all my holes—yes, all. My ass is wrecked . . . (My speech is so refined . . .) There ought to be a plumber I could call. 154 You want to die with me, you dumb shit? Excavate my heart with your shovel? This is getting to be a hell of a habit. Want me to swear on my knees? Grovel?