A Terror is More Certain...

A terror is more certain than all the rare desirable popular songs I know, than even now when all of my myths have become . . . , & walk around in black shiny galoshes & carry dirty laundry to & fro, & read great books & don’t know criminals intimately, & publish fat books of the month & have wifeys that are lousy in bed & never realize how bad my writing is because i am poor & symbolize myself. A certain desirable is more terror to me than all that’s rare. How come they don’t give an academic award to all the movie stars that die? they’re still acting, ain’t they? even if they are dead, it should not be held against them, after all they still have the public on their side, how would you like to be a dead movie star & have people sit- ting on your grave? A rare me is more certain than desirable, that’s all the terror, there are too many basketball players in this world & too much progress in the burial industry, lets have old fashioned funerals & stand around & forgive & borrow wet handkerchiefs, & sneak out for drinks & help load the guy into the wagon, & feel sad & make a date with the widow & believe we don’t see all of the people sink- ing into the subways going to basketball games & designing baby sitters at Madison Square Garden. A certain me is desirable, what is so rare as air in a Poem, why can’t i write a foreign movie like all the other boys my age, I confess to all the crimes committed during the month of April, but not to save my own neck, which is adjustable, & telescopes into any size noose, I’m doing it to save Gertrude Stein’s reputation, who is secretly flying model airplanes for the underground railroad stern gang of oz, & is the favorite in all the bouts . . . not officially opened yet Holland tunnel is the one who writes untrue phone numbers. A desirable poem is more rare than rare, & terror is certain, who wants to be a poet & work a twenty four hour shift, they never ask you first, who wants to listen to the radiator play string quartets all night. I want to be allowed not to be, suppose a man wants to swing on the kiddie swings, should people be allowed to stab him with queer looks & drag him off to bed & its no fun on top of a lady when her hair is full of shiny little machines & your ass reflected in that television screen, who wants to be a poet if you fuck on t.v. & all those cowboys watching.