Unholy Sonnet 11

Half asleep in prayer I said the right thing And felt a sudden pleasure come into The room or my own body. In the dark, Charged with a change of atmosphere, at first I couldn’t tell my body from the room. And I was wide awake, full of this feeling, Alert as though I’d heard a doorknob twist, A drawer pulled, and instead of terror knew The intrusion of an overwhelming joy. I had said thanks and this was the response. But how I said it or what I said it for I still cannot recall and I have tried All sorts of ways all hours of the night. Once was enough to be dissatisfied.