What My House Would Be Like If It Were A Person

This person would be an animal. This animal would be large, at least as large as a workhorse. It would chew cud, like cows, having several stomachs. No one could follow it into the dense brush to witness its mating habits. Hidden by fur, its sex would be hard to determine. Definitely it would discourage investigation. But it would be, if not teased, a kind, amiable animal, confiding as a chickadee. Its intelligence would be of a high order, neither human nor animal, elvish. And it would purr, though of course, it being a house, you would sit in its lap, not it in yours.