Phil Bolsta

Last night when I was sound asleep, My little brother Keith Tiptoed into my bedroom And pulled out all my teeth. You’d think that I would be upset And jump and spit and swear. You’d think that I would tackle Keith And pull out all his hair. But no!   I’m glad he did it. So what if people stare. Now, thanks to the Tooth Fairy, I’ll be a millionaire!

The monsters in my closet Like to sleep the day away. So when I get home from school, I let them out to play. When Mom calls me for supper, I give them each a broom. First they put my toys away, And then they clean my room. The Mummy hates to vacuum. So if he starts to whine, I kick his rear and tell him, “Trade jobs with Frankenstein.” Wolfman used to fold my clothes. I’ll give him one more chance— Last time he wasn’t careful And left furballs in my pants. When my room is nice and neat, I bring them up some food. But Dracula wants to drink my blood— I think that’s pretty rude. When it’s time to go to bed, I hug them all goodnight. They jump back in my closet, While I turn out the light. I’ve taken care of monsters For as long as I recall, But the monsters in my closet Are the nicest ones of all!

Michael O’Toole hated going to school, He wanted to stay home and play. So lied to his dad and said he felt bad And stayed home from school one day. The very next day he decided to say That his stomach felt a bit queasy. He groaned and he winced ’til his dad was convinced, And he said to himself, “This is easy!” At the end of the week, his dad kissed his cheek And said, “Son, you’ve missed too much school.” “But still I feel funny, and my nose is all runny,” Said the mischievous Michael O’Toole. Each day he’d complain of a new ache or pain, But his doctor could find nothing wrong. He said it was best to let Michael rest, Until he felt healthy and strong. Michael O’Toole never did get to school, So he never learned how to write— Or to read or to spell or do anything well, Which is sad, for he’s really quite bright. And now that he’s grown, he sits home alone ’Cause there’s nothing he knows how to do. Don't be a fool and stay home from school, Or the same thing could happen to you!

I don’t understand why everyone stares When I take off my clothes and dance down the stairs. Or when I stick carrots in both of my ears, Then dye my hair green and go shopping at Sears. I just love to dress up and do goofy things. If I were an angel, I’d tie-dye my wings! Why can’t folks accept me the way that I am? So what if I’m different and don’t act like them? I’m not going to change and be someone I’m not. I like who I am, and I’m all that I’ve got.

I don’t like doing homework, I know that it will bore me. But now I am much happier ’Cause Freddie does it for me! He greets me at the door each day When I come home from school. He just can’t wait to read my books— I think that’s pretty cool! I give him all my homework, Like history and math. And when he’s done I give him A nice warm bubble bath! My grades are so much better now, Which makes my parents glad. Freddie is the smartest dog That I have ever had!