After Disappointment

To lie in your child’s bed when she is gone Is calming as anything I know. To fall Asleep, her books arranged above your head, Is to admit that you have never been So tired, so enchanted by the spell Of your grown body. To feel small instead Of blocking out the light, to feel alone, Not knowing what you should or shouldn’t feel, Is to find out, no matter what you’ve said About the cramped escapes and obstacles You plan and face and have to call the world, That there remain these places, occupied By children, yours if lucky, like the girl Who finds you here and lies down by your side.