Badman of the Guest Professor

for Joe Overstreet, David Henderson, Albert Ayler & d mysterious ‘H’ who cut up d Rembrandts i u worry me whoever u are i know u didnt want me to come here but here i am just d same; hi-jacking yr stagecoach, hauling in yr pocket watches & mak ing u hoof it all d way to town. black bard, a robber w/ an art: i left some curses in d cash box so ull know its me listen man, i cant help it if yr thing is over, kaput, finis no matter how u slice it dick u are done. a dead duck all out of quacks. d nagging hiccup dat goes on & on w/out a simple glass of water for relief ii uve been teaching shakespeare for 20 years only to find d joke on u d eavesdropping rascal who got it in d shins because he didnt know enough to keep his feet behind d cur tains: a sad-sacked head served on a platter in titus andronicus or falstaff too fat to make a go of it anymore iii its not my fault dat yr tradition was knocked off wop style & left in d alley w/ pricks in its mouth. i read abt it in d papers but it was no skin off my nose wasnt me who opened d gates & allowed d rustlers to slip thru unnoticed. u ought to do something abt yr security or mend yr fences partner dont look at me if all dese niggers are ripping it up like deadwood dick; doing art d way its never been done. mak ing wurlitzer sorry he made d piano dat will drive mozart to d tennis courts making smith-corona feel like d red faced university dat has just delivered china some 50 e-leben h bomb experts i didnt deliver d blow dat drove d abstract expressionists to my ladies linoleum where dey sleep beneath tons of wax & dogshit & d muddy feet of children or because some badassed blackpainter done sent french impressionism to d walls of highrise lobbies where dey belong is not my fault martha graham will never do d jerk shes a sweet ol soul but her hips cant roll; as stiff as d greek statues she loves so much iv dese are d reasons u did me nasty j alfred prufrock, d trick u pull d in d bookstore today; stand in d corner no peaches for a week, u lemon u must blame me because yr wife is ugly. 86-d by a thousand discriminating saunas. dats why u did dat sneaky thing i wont tell d townsfolk because u hv to live here and im just passing thru v u got one thing right tho. i did say dat everytime i read william faulkner i go to sleep. fitzgerald wdnt hv known a gangster if one had snatched zelda & made her a moll tho she wd hv been grateful i bet bonnie of clyde wrote d saga of suicide sal just as d feds were closing in. it is worth more than d collected works of ts elliot a trembling anglican whose address is now d hell dat thrilld him so last word from down there he was open ing a publishing co dat will bore d devil back to paradise vi & by d way did u hear abt grammar? cut to ribbons in a photo finish by stevie wonder, a blindboy who dances on a heel. he just came out of d slang & broke it down before millions. it was bloody murder vii to make a long poem shorter—3 things moleheaded lame w/4 or 5 eyes 1) yr world is riding off into d sunset 2) d chips are down & nobody will chance yr i.o.u.s. 3) d last wish was a fluke so now u hv to re turn to being a fish p.s. d enchantment has worn off dats why u didnt like my reading list—right? it didnt include anyone on it dat u cd in vite to a cocktail party & shoot a lot of bull—right? so u want to take it out on my hide—right? well i got news for u professor nothing—i am my own brand while u must be d fantasy of a japanese cartoonist a strangekind of dinosaurmouse i can see it all now. d leaves are running low. its d eve of extinction & dere are no holes to accept yr behind. u wander abt yr long neck probing a tree. u think its a tree but its really a trap. a cry of victory goes up in d kitchen of d world. a pest is dead. a prehis toric pest at dat. a really funnytime prehistoric pest whom we will lug into a museum to show everyone how really funny u are yr fate wd make a good scenario but d plot is between u & charles darwin. as i said, im passing thru, just sing ing my song. get along little doggie & jazz like dat. word has it dat a big gold shipment is coming to californy. i by to ride all night if im to meet my pardners dey want me to help score d ambush