Quiz

Invaders invariably call themselves: a) berserkers b) marauders c) frankincense d) liberators Our enemies hate us because: a) we’re sadists b) we’re hypocrites c) we shafted them d) we value freedom Our friends hate us because: a) we’re bullies b) we hate them c) we’re hypocrites d) we value freedom Pushed to the ground and kicked by a gang of soldiers, about to be shot, you can save your life by brandishing: a) an uzi b) a crucifix c) the Constitution d) a poem A poem can: a) start a war b) stanch a wound c) titillate the masses d) shame a nation Poets are: a) clowns b) parasites c) legislators d) terrorists A nation’s standing in the world is determined by: a) its buying power b) its military might c) its cultural heritage d) God A country is rich because of: a) its enlightened population b) its political system c) its big stick d) its geography A country is poor because of: a) its ignorant population b) its political system c) its small stick d) its geography A man’s dignity is determined by: a) his appearance (skin color, height, etc) b) his willingness to use violence c) his command of English d) his blue passport Those willing to die for their beliefs are: a) idealists b) terrorists c) suckers d) insane Those willing to die for nothing are: a) principled b) patriotic c) insane d) cowards Terrorists: a) abuse language b) hit and run c) shock and awe d) rely on ingenuity Smart weapons: a) render hopeless and dormant kinetic objects b) kill softly c) save lives d) slaughter by science Pain is: a) payback for evil-doers b) a common misfortune c) compelling drama d) suck it up! Humiliation is: a) the ultimate thrill for bored perverts b) inevitable in an unequal relationship c) a fear factor d) sexy and cathartic The media’s job is: a) to seduce b) to spread c) to sell d) to drug The Internet: a) allows us to be pure minds b) connects us to distant bodies c) disconnects us from the nearest minds and bodies d) improves illiteracy Pornography is: a) a lie that exposes the truth b) a needed breather from civilization c) class warfare d) nostalgia for the garden of Eden Correct answers: c,d,d,b,b,a,b,a,a,c,b,b,b,c,b,d,b,d,c. —If you scored 14-19, you’re a well adjusted person, a home-owner, with and income of at least $50,000 a year. —If you scored 8-13, you either rent or live with your parents, never exercise, and consume at least a 6-pack a day. —if you scored 7 or less, you’re in trouble with the FBI and/or the IRS, cut your own hair, and use public transit as your primary mode of transportation.