Linh Dinh

Lugging my exploded home And trampling on my own name, I trek to a yearned deformation. Imperial chaos hacks flesh, Sends the unmeshed toward a Capsized horizon. They dream Of clean graphic design, houses That don’t collapse onto cribs. Invaded, the invaded invade The invaders’ kitchens and, Soon enough, bedrooms. Look, They’re invading each other. Shut up, smug face, you know Nothing of ugliness, even that Which you’ve long bankrolled.

Invaders invariably call themselves: a) berserkers b) marauders c) frankincense d) liberators Our enemies hate us because: a) we’re sadists b) we’re hypocrites c) we shafted them d) we value freedom Our friends hate us because: a) we’re bullies b) we hate them c) we’re hypocrites d) we value freedom Pushed to the ground and kicked by a gang of soldiers, about to be shot, you can save your life by brandishing: a) an uzi b) a crucifix c) the Constitution d) a poem A poem can: a) start a war b) stanch a wound c) titillate the masses d) shame a nation Poets are: a) clowns b) parasites c) legislators d) terrorists A nation’s standing in the world is determined by: a) its buying power b) its military might c) its cultural heritage d) God A country is rich because of: a) its enlightened population b) its political system c) its big stick d) its geography A country is poor because of: a) its ignorant population b) its political system c) its small stick d) its geography A man’s dignity is determined by: a) his appearance (skin color, height, etc) b) his willingness to use violence c) his command of English d) his blue passport Those willing to die for their beliefs are: a) idealists b) terrorists c) suckers d) insane Those willing to die for nothing are: a) principled b) patriotic c) insane d) cowards Terrorists: a) abuse language b) hit and run c) shock and awe d) rely on ingenuity Smart weapons: a) render hopeless and dormant kinetic objects b) kill softly c) save lives d) slaughter by science Pain is: a) payback for evil-doers b) a common misfortune c) compelling drama d) suck it up! Humiliation is: a) the ultimate thrill for bored perverts b) inevitable in an unequal relationship c) a fear factor d) sexy and cathartic The media’s job is: a) to seduce b) to spread c) to sell d) to drug The Internet: a) allows us to be pure minds b) connects us to distant bodies c) disconnects us from the nearest minds and bodies d) improves illiteracy Pornography is: a) a lie that exposes the truth b) a needed breather from civilization c) class warfare d) nostalgia for the garden of Eden Correct answers: c,d,d,b,b,a,b,a,a,c,b,b,b,c,b,d,b,d,c. —If you scored 14-19, you’re a well adjusted person, a home-owner, with and income of at least $50,000 a year. —If you scored 8-13, you either rent or live with your parents, never exercise, and consume at least a 6-pack a day. —if you scored 7 or less, you’re in trouble with the FBI and/or the IRS, cut your own hair, and use public transit as your primary mode of transportation.

Ground zero refers to the detonation point Of a bomb of any size, from one strapped To the waist, to the Fat Man, to the Massive Ordinance Air Burst. Like the Daisy Cutter, The M.O.A.B. explodes just above the ashen clay To insure that it spreads its sentiment sideways.

The mind is a hotel with a thousand rooms. When I tilt my head a certain way, I think about certain things. When I tilt my head another way, I think about other things. If I sleep on the right side of my face, for example, I’d dream of a pale rose, the future, or a continental diner in Passaic, New Jersey. When I sleep on the left side of my face, I’d dream that a hand is squeezing my heart, that I’m in prison, or that I’m watching hockey at an airport bar, about to miss a flight.

The name itself is dismal. Stumbling Into adulthood, I spent a year there, On a narrow, much interrupted street. My austere block had a single, sick tree. Tim Fender and I rented a row house For only 50 bucks a month. Basically, It was a shell, bought by this gay man Who thought he would fix it up, but Grays Ferry made him so depressed, He just had to bolt. Being Catholic Irish, This hood couldn’t have been congenial To someone gay, unless he’s a priest. Still, I seriously doubt the neighbors did Or said anything. They certainly didn’t Show hostility to Tim or I, two art fags. Everyone suffered in Grays Ferry, and In 1986, it literally stank, for there were two Huge lots filled with garbage, thanks to a Twenty-day strike by Philly’s garbage men. I had left art school without a degree, For why borrow money to learn painting From all these failed artists? Why not just Slink somewhere and paint? Though I never Amounted to crap as a painter, I’ve taught Myself to write, sort of, instead of hocking My life to a bank, just so I could be misled And muddled by stunted or puffed up typists. That year, I manned up and mainlined Celine’s Death on the Installment Plan and his Journey To the End of the Night

I hate to admit this, brother, but there are times When I’m eating fried chicken When I think about nothing else but eating fried chicken, When I utterly forget about my family, honor and country, The various blood debts you owe me, My past humiliations and my future crimes— Everything, in short, but the crispy skin on my fried chicken. But I’m not altogether evil, there are also times When I will refuse to lick or swallow anything That’s not generally available to mankind. (Which is, when you think about it, absolutely nothing at all.) And no doubt that’s why apples can cause riots, And meat brings humiliation, And each gasp of air Will fill one’s lungs with gun powder and smoke.

Mudman in earth cafeteria, I eat aardwolf. I eat ant bear. I eat mimosa, platypus, ermine. “White meat is tasteless, dark meat stinks.” (The other white meat is pork, triple X.) Rice people vs. bread people. White bread vs. wheat bread. White rice vs. brown rice. Manhattan vs. New England. Kosher sub-gum vs. knuckle kabob. “What is patriotism but love of the foods one had as a child?”* To eat stinky food is a sign of savagery, humility, identification with the earth. “It was believed that after cleaning, tripe still contained ten percent excrement which was therefore eaten with the rest of the meal.”** Today I’ll eat Colby cheese. Tomorrow I’ll eat sparrows. Chew bones, suck fat, bite heads off, gnaw on a broken wing. Anise-flavored beef soup smells like sweat. A large sweaty head bent over a large bowl of sweat soup. A Pekinese is ideal, will feed six, but an unscrupulous butcher will fudge a German sheperd, chopping it up to look like a Pekinese. Toothless man sucking a pureed porterhouse steak with a straw. Parboiled placenta. To skewer and burn meat is barbaric. To boil, requiring a vessel, is a step up. To microwave. People who eat phalli, hot dogs, kielbasas vs. people who eat balls. To eat with a three-pronged spear and a knife. To eat with two wooden sticks. To eat with the hands. Boiling vs. broiling. To snack on a tub of roasted grasshoppers at the movies. *Lin Yutang **Mikhail Bakhtin

A stick of carrot is equal to a gillyflower. A gillyflower is equal to a drum of gasoline. A drum of gasoline is equal to a stick of carrot. “For the sake of my offspring, I think I’ll marry an outsider.” Tamerlane has been sighted in Northern Italy. Jesus has broken out in Inner Mongolia. They like to kiss outside and piss inside. We like to kiss inside and piss outside. A mosquito has a mouth but no asshole. After three drops of blood, he falls asleep. He only gets up to bite another mosquito. He sucks and he sucks. Inside this balloon are ten thousand mosquitoes. In my left fist is a fossil of the first butterfly. In my right fist is a theory of why blood trickles down men’s legs. A man gains a drop of blood per day from eating. Each night, he gets up to slash himself Across the face and wrist. He must be bitten by ten thousand mosquitoes. He sucks and he sucks. Where would all that blood go otherwise? Once a month, a woman drops a teacup on the floor, A fine teacup with bones inside it. Vietnamese and Germans now speak the same language. Prussians and Bavarians cannot understand each other.

Perhaps I’m a cruel artist. I always depict In great details, lovingly, all the defects On the faces and bodies of my models. I use my eyes and brushes to thread The jagged gaps of their stiff smiles. I pamper Each pimple, hump, massage each incrustation. I cajole my models into poses that are awkward, Dangerous, unhygienic, sometimes mortifying. I don’t care to paint smooth, poreless skin but collect All manners of rashes and eruptions. Inspired, I’ve forced a hundred bodies—impossibly old, Extremely young—onto appalling heaps, Democratically naked, viscous with sweat, spit and etc., Just so I could render the human condition Most accurately and movingly.

A vigilant gun that always picks out The right target—even if it’s you— No matter who you’re aiming at. A computer that listens and blows you, As you blow it, to your favorite tune. Meat that cleans your teeth As you’re masticating it. A truck so awesome, only the President Of the United States of America’s allowed To careen in it, to his own beat. A dictionary with positive adjectives only. A dictionary with no wet verbs. A dictionary with negotiable definitions. A dictionary that defines words by their antonyms. All the greatest hits from the last millennium Performed live, on stage, on the inside Of your state of the art, acoustically-enhanced skull. A complete set of nude photos Of you, taken by you and sold Back to you—at a discount. A sex doll with a mirror for a face. A sex doll with a Ph.D. A sex doll with adjustable skin tone. A sensitive sex doll that just wants To be friends—a Platonic sex doll. Rain water in a bottle, sunshine in a box And ambience sounds from a bus stop Down the street, recorded on a CD. A 24-hour video of what you did yesterday. A 24-hour video of what you’ll do tomorrow. A super realistic photo of what’s outside Your window, pasted to your window. A baseball game that never ends, To be played simultaneously with A football game that never ends. Cluster bombs that scatter copies of Leaves of Grass Over a thousand mile radius, for a thousand years. Landmines made with dough, Topped with mozzarella and all Your favorite toppings. An airplane that never lands. And, finally, your favorite fairy tale Painted on your new plastic limbs.